Tag: den of authenticity

12/27/18: Setting Intentions

Another wish for my fellow Hamsters as we close out the year.

As we set intentions to move forward into 2019, may we do it with a sense of acceptance, allowance, & compassion for ourselves – and continue on the healthy & mindful path. May we accept *all* our experiences as benefitting us, even when they’re hard, even when they’re uncomfortable, even when we don’t like it… and choose to find happiness with whatever we’re experiencing – good, bad, & ugly. Easier said than done, I know. Someone point me to this post when I’m back in the pit of despair about some ache or pain. Happy New Year!

12/19/18: Hammiversary

Back on 11/5/17 I tore all three hamstring tendons off my pelvis trying to cross a soccer ball to center field in a kids vs. parents game. I was 45.

  • Tendon stumps were retracted 2.5-3cm.
  • First consult with an orthopedic surgeon in Concord, MA, USA. Unlike so many doctors across the globe, she knew before the MRI & before any bruising appeared, that I needed surgery. I still sought a second opinion at the urging of my PT in order to find someone who had done the operation more than “5-10 times.” Excellent ortho, but more of a knee & shoulder doc.
  • Surgery a month later on 12/5/17 in Boston with Mark Price, head physician for the New England Patriots.
  • Hip brace for 7 weeks.
  • PT for about 10 months.

Notes to my year-ago self, who was confined to the Christmas couch at two weeks PO:

It gets better. Really.

Wait.

Breathe.

Read.

Connect. Especially with Hamsters.

Do your PT. To music.

The pain will get better. Really. Pay attention to it. Your body communicates with it. If your body used actual words, you’d freak out.

Wait. Wait more. Beyond what you think is acceptable. You are appallingly impatient, sweetness.

Yes, you’ve lost things. You will gain better things. Trust me, love.

Distract yourself so waiting is easier. Write.

You’re going to live into your nineties; this will take about a year. Chill the f*#% out. The worst will be over in nine months. What new life can you give birth to in that time?

This is an opportunity to slow down and learn more about your body than you’ve ever known. You will need this information if you plan on living into your nineties and remaining that good looking.

You haven’t slowed down. Sitting in bed all day watching Netflix and being angry as f*#% is not “slowing down.”

Breathe instead. In through your nose for 4….hold for 7…….out your mouth, as though through a straw, for 8……..

“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued; whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”

― Anne Lamott

I’ve been back at my job as a personal trainer for many months. I walk 1.5 miles every other day. My strength & endurance need work. I’m deadlifting & squatting & lunging really well, but body weight only. I do prone hamstring curls with a 5lb dumbbell between my feet, and I did about 12 minutes on the elliptical last week. Super sore the following two days, but nothing terrible. I can do jack planks, battle rope slams, a couple box jumps.

My core and single-leg balance strength are better than they’ve ever been in my life.

Healing happens. Hang in.

9/25/18: Glennon Doyle Melton

Den of Positivity, 9.5 mo PO:

When I first heard Glennon Doyle Melton speak a few years ago, I couldn’t believe her tiny voice was the same one that boomed out of the narratives I’d been reading in her blog, Momastery. Don’t let the little voice fool you – this one’s a powerhouse of transformation & wisdom. And such a good writer.

Glennon’s words here echo many of the same truths about rising strong from failure that Brené Brown’s research & data do in her book, Rising Strong.

Again and again, I get the same message in my recovery from this injury and what has at times felt like a botched career change from public school teacher to personal trainer – “It’s really all we have to do. We have to sit through those uncomfortable feelings and let God work, and not numb or run. …If we can just let life be hard, and not numb it, and not run from it, and not deflect our pain onto somebody else… if we can just be still with it – we are transformed. Be still.”

9/25/18: Girls Gone Strong

I love this article from Girls Gone Strong as it reminds us that hamstring “tightness” can result from a number of imbalances & weaknesses in the abdomen, lower back, & pelvic floor. Most of us are not women who‘ve just given birth, but those of us who’ve born children may have instabilities that were never properly healed/addressed, and men can have similar pelvic dysfunction from postural distortions. Might be a good article to pass on to your PT.

9/20/18: ADHD & Chronic Pain

One of the remarkable things about the stimulant medication I take for my ADHD is that **it almost always lessened my post surgical pain**. This podcast offers a golden nugget about the association between chronic pain, fibromyalgia, and ADHD in women. It starts at 46 minutes in. (If you decide to watch the whole thing, start at 13 minutes in. The intro will kill you with boredom – especially if you have ADHD.)

“…If you have undiagnosed ADHD, you’re living in a state of chronic stress. We find that women end up with chronic stress disorders, fibromyalgia being the most common one. So, many women with ADHD have fibromyalgia, chronic pain syndrome, chronic fatigue… as a result of living in a chronically stressed state. So we see an association. Treatment – stimulant [medicine] treatment – of ADHD not only treats their ADHD symptoms, they also treat the fibromyalgia pain, and many women tell me that they can tell when their stimulant is wearing off because their pain returns.”

-Part 1: ADHD in Girls and Women with Dr. Patricia Quinn

8/29/18: Rising Strong

I just started reading Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Brene Brown’s books and TED talks have already rocked my socks, and I bought this one long before my accident, but I never got around to reading it. Looks like it’s time. Anyone else want to? Hamster book group..?